Weet U wat uw vachtkind doet op 420? De schokkende waarheid.


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Don't let a tragedy like this befall your Good Boy.
Don’t let a tragedy like this befall your Good Boy.

Image: jess joho / Mashable

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By Jess Joho

Do you know what your fur child is doing on April 20? Pup parents everywhere should worry about a dangerous new trend sweeping the canine world. Read on to learn the shocking tr uth about canine-abis and how to protect your innocent four-legged offspring from falling victim to the horrors of marijuana-themed chew toys.

“im baby”

Image: jess Joho /  MASHABLE

This is Dax Joho. He was a Good Boy all his life, boasting perfect puppy school attendance with a 4.0 GPA (Good Pup Average). Then, one day in April, some friends invited him to a “420 celebration.” And everything changed.

“bro you gotta try this grass — it’s way better than the stuff in your backyard”

Image: jess joho /  MASHABLE

His mother agreed to let him attend, not knowing what the true significance of the day meant and believing it instead to be “some sort of video game thing.” But she soon found out the devastating truth: 420 was actually slang for a “holiday” widely known for getting high on canine-abis (which, to be abundantly clear, is different from the human drug known as cannabis that is poisonous to fur babies).

“that’s some loud ganga, bro”

Image: jess joho /  MASHABLE

“paw paw pass, haha”

Image: Jess Joho / Mashable

“when that good kush hits”

Image: jess joho / Mashable

Now her precious fur baby, who was once on track to graduate top paw of his class, suffers from acute canine-abis addiction. After just one puff of a canine-abis cigarette, she says, Dax became a different pup. His behavior changed, he started wearing different clothes — even his smell had a different musk. Her easy-going social Good Boy, now a standoffish temperamental Badass Boy.

“it’s just a plant, MOM, leave me alone!!!!”

Image: jess joho /  MASHABLE

“watch me blow these sick rings”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“how many pots do u smoke, bro? i do like 16 pots a day”

Image: jess joho / mashable

His heartbroken mother hopes that by telling the world about Dax’s tragic story, more pup parents will know about the 420 phenomenon turning innocent Good Boys into Rabid Reefers. Luckily, there are telltale signs to help identify whether your fur baby is under the influence of canine-abis.

“i named my bong the la-bud-doodle haha”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“dog, how high r u rn”

Image: jess joho / mashable

The most common signs of the dangerous canine drug include: pinkness around the eyes, a very pink belly, excessive begging for food, paranoid barking, disorientation, and long naps throughout the day.

“dude are my eyes OK?”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“whoa the whole house went upside down”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“i think the mailman is working with the CIA”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“what year is it rn”

Image: jess joho / mashable

Most tragically, canine-abis is known as a “gateway drug,” not only introducing addicts to even deadlier substances but also potentially spreading to other members of the family. In the case of Dax Joho, his step-sister Daphne soon followed in his misguided footsteps.

“if i take a puff, i’ll be cool like my big bro”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“fuck the police”

Image: jess joho / mashable

Our research revealed that pup parents should also be on the lookout for the following canine-abis related texting acronyms:

  • LOL: Lots of leaf

  • GTG: Get that ganga

  • BRB: Big reefer bong

  • BFF: Buds for free

  • TTYL: Trimming that yummy lettuce

  • LMAO: Located marijuana accepting orders 

“i don’t have a problem it just helps my anxiety”

Image: jess joho / mashable

“what have i become?”

Image: jess joho / mashable

So be vigilant this 420, or your fur child could be the next victim of canine-abis addiction.

Hope this makes you laugh! Sometimes Mashable likes to have fun. Just remember that actual cannabis is toxic to dogs and that you must take every precaution to ensure your fur baby stays safe during your 420 celebrations. Luckily, your Good Boy or Girl can still partake in the holidaze festivities by enjoying the limited edition weed-themed Barkbox toys featured in this article.

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